Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Archive for November, 2011

Beer Festival

Posted by JewMitch on November 29, 2011

So I’m surprised that I’ve never written about this before, but probably my favorite day of the year is not Christmas (I’m just hungover and waiting for Chinese food while everyone gets a million presents), not Thanksgiving (way too much family time), not my birthday (I’m getting fucking old), but the TAP New York Craft Beer Festival at Hunter Mountain.  It takes place every year on a gorgeous weekend in April and features over 40 breweries, who each bring like 6 beers for you to try. The way it works is that you pay something like $60 to get in, they give you a small tasting glass, and you walk around and DRINK ALL THE BEER YOU WANT. None of this – “just try five and then drive home safe” bullshit type events that I would never be bothered with – this is an all-day thing. It starts at noon – and goes till about 5:00pm, and I’m always worried that there won’t be enough time to drink as much beer as I want – but there is always way more than enough time to drink all the beer I want.  You’d think after four years of attending this event, I’d have learned that by now – but I haven’t, and never pace myself.  Although, pacing yourself is for losers and people with DUIs.

Anyway, as I was saying – this is the best day of the year.  I’ve been going since back when I lived in Baltimore, and we’ve never had bad weather – although I’m sure I’m cursing it now. Not only are you outside all day drinking all sorts of amazing beer from great breweries at a beautiful ski resort, but they also have great food; there’s like 20 different food stations of every possible type of food that you’d want to eat while you’re drinking.  Think pizza, chili, ribs, chicken wings, etc. And they COME AROUND AND BRING IT TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE DRINKING BEER OVERLOOKING THE MOUNTAIN.

Because I talk this event up so much, a few additional friends from work also came this year – and decided to one-up us by getting a hotel nearby (we had always taken a bus back to the city).  And after about 50 beers, they convinced me to ditch my friends that I had come with and stay in their hotel room that night.  Because obviously, the best thing to do after drinking all day is to continue drinking and stay in a strange hotel.

So we keep drinking and the crowd changes from the “we just came for the day to pleasantly drink beer” to the “we’re really serious about drinking – because we’re not going anywhere tonight” crowd – and it’s amazing.  Just a great vibe, and everyone is bombed.  The weather is still perfect.  And then the following happened:

“So what’s the situation with the hotel?” I ask.

“Oh!!! Do 10 Push-ups!” about 8 people scream; apparently they’d started playing a drinking game where if you say the word “situation,” (which happens more than you think), you have to do 10 push-ups.

And because I’ll never say no to a stupid drinking game – and because I’m awesome – I said, “Fine, but give me a cigarette first.”

Then, with lit cigarette in my mouth – I easily crank out the 10 push-ups (I used to do a lot of push-ups).

A crowd had formed while this was going on – and this one girl comes up to me.

“That was awesome. Where are you from?”

Without thinking about it – I gave the best possible answer to this question:
“Craig’s List.”

“You’re crazy. What’s your name?”

Then, of course, my friend Megan starts chanting “Make-out! Make-out!” and gets the entire crowd to do it.

Then the girl, who I admit, was not the cutest girl ever, says “I never do this,” and comes at me so we make out for a few seconds.  The crowd goes crazy.

And this all happened literally 10 minutes after my friends left.

The rest of the night is blurry – less exciting, but trust me, getting a hotel is the way to go.  The entire festival stays there – and the hotel has all these balcony rooms facing the mountain – and you can walk from balcony to balcony.  People even brought grills.  Let me repeat that – people brought grills to BBQ on hotel balconies.  And the hotel was cool with it.  Drinking continued till about three.

Anyway, just make a reminder for yourself to buy tickets for next year, it always sells out.  Just do it.


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“Assholes” — The Graphic Novel

Posted by JewMitch on November 28, 2011

I know it’s been forever since I did a post, and the main reason is that I’ve been lazy/drinking too much, but I really have been working on some other projects. So since it’s Cyber Monday and all — here is a free link to download my entire graphic novel — “Assholes.”  It was inspired by a few of the stories on here, and loyal JewMitch readers will recognize much of the Adventures in Mexico story in the first chapter. Enjoy:

Note:  It’s a big file download — but is a pdf file, so will look great on an iPad or any other portable device. Or print it out on your office’s expensive color photo printer and give it to your Aunt for Christmas, whatever makes you happy.

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