Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

The Time I Didn’t Make Out With a Pretty Girl in High School

Posted by JewMitch on March 31, 2011

So I don’t think it will come to a shock to anyone that I wasn’t particular good with girls in middle school or high school. In fact, it wasn’t until 8th grade or so, that I figured out the difference between being really awkward/weird in the way that makes people not want to hang out with you, and being awkward/weird in the way that people think is funny.

But gradually after I realized this (and realized that it was cooler to wear jeans to school instead of sweatpants), I started making more friends and getting invited to parties.  I definitely wasn’t “popular” and I wasn’t getting any handjobs behind the bleachers or anything, but when I called girls on the phone, they would talk to me because I was really good at being that mean version of funny that high school girls love.

Anyway, there was one girl in my class, let’s call her Debbie, who had always been considered one of the hottest girls in my class, so naturally, I had a crush on for a few years.  We were never close friends, and there was no reason for me to ever think I’d have a chance with her, but you know – it was high school, and pining away for a girl was much easier than having a girlfriend.

Luckily, as my stock in the class was going up, her’s was going down.  It started with one unfortunate haircut she got and her getting a reputation for being fairly easy (neither of these things bothered me), and one day, I found myself on a weekend school retreat with her, where she was actually flirting with me.  I don’t think she was flirting with because I was so awesome, as much as that she was a super nice girl and I think that she thought a really nice thing to do would be to hook up with me that weekend.

I didn’t know much about flirting back then (let’s be honest, I still don’t), but something was definitely going on because she was talking to me and touching my arm and stuff.  Then, one time when we were all standing around and it was a little chilly out, she came up behind me and gave me one of those from-behind-the-back-hug things.

Let me preface what happened next with the fact that this was my first behind-the-back-hugs-thing, as I had never had a girlfriend before and still thought Garfield the Cat was cool.

So there’s this girl, who I’ve had a crush on for years, giving me a hug — and really all I had to do was put my arms around hers and things would be in motion.  But that’s not what I did.  Instead, I PUT MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS.  Yes, I had so little experience with girls, that I did not know how to receive a hug.  So I just did the most natural thing I could think of and put my hands in my pockets.

But the story gets worse.  Some point later in the weekend, she came up to me and asked me if I had any allergy medicine in my cabin (the retreat was at a summer camp, and we were all staying in cabins).  This doesn’t sound sexy, but she could have easily gone to the nurse on duty or many other people — and there was definitely something about the way she said it that implied — “let’s go makeout;” especially since my cabin was all the way on the other side of camp, girls weren’t supposed to be in boy’s cabins, she didn’t seems like she was suffering from allergies, she knew my cabin was empty, and all my friends were giving me winks and saying things like “Have fun giving her allergy medicine!”

So we go back to my cabin, and I have my high school crush alone for the first time, in what was a perfect makeout situation.  We’re alone, she’s been flirting with me all weekend (despite my inability to reciprocate), and we’re in a cabin in the woods.

So I give her the allergy medicine, and then she says “thank you” and just stands there for at least 30 seconds, giving me that “are you going to make a move already?” type of look.  So of course, I PUT MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS AGAIN, and just stood there until she left.

After, that weekend, I took her on exactly on 1 date, where we went to a movie, and I put my arm around her (progress!) until, halfway through, she said it was hurting her neck and asked if I could take it away.

We never made out.


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