Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Archive for November, 2010

Another Dead Poet Story

Posted by JewMitch on November 11, 2010

Back when I lived in Baltimore, I used to come up to New York City all the time for drinking weekends. During football season, I couldn’t make it back in time for 1pm football games, so I would bring Ravens gear up with me and make The Dead Poet (our favorite Upper West Side bar) show Ravens games on their flatscreen. This always made the bartender annoyed, because he was a huge Jets fan, but since there was no one else in the bar on Sunday afternoons, and we spent about a thousand dollars a month there, he would have to comply. Then, we would all order 1-3 Dead Poets and enjoy the game.

These Sundays would always end in disaster – as my friends would encourage me to drink as much as possible, since I was headed home that afternoon and they wouldn’t have to deal with me. One time, I blacked out in the Dead Poet and woke up in my friend’s car, near Exit 6 on the New Jersey Turn Pike. Let’s just say, she was not super happy with me.

Another time, my friends made me drink three Dead Poets, even though I was already hungover and was taking the Chinatown bus back to Baltimore that afternoon. I was already queasy by the time I got to the bus, so I knew there was no way I would make it the whole 4-5 hour bumpy ride without puking at least once. This was an issue, as the bathroom on the Chinatown bus was in the condition you’d expect it to be in.

I had about five minutes before the bus was leaving, so I ran into the nearest store I could find, which happened to be a DVD porno store, and asked them if they had any plastic bags I could have. The confused clerk obliged (the look on his face was kind of priceless – “you just want plastic bags? no porn?”) and I then ran back to make the bus. I threw up about five minutes after we drove off.

Looking back on this story, you’d think I’d have realized that my drinking was getting a little out of control or that maybe I should have only had 2 Dead Poets, but all I can remember thinking was “Good thing that friendly porno store guy gave me two plastic bags” and “I really need to just move to New York already.”


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