Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Floaters and Friendship

Posted by JewMitch on May 14, 2010

During my first year of law school, I used to live in a high rise that was literally two blocks from the school, so my law school friends would constantly come over for study breaks, lunch, etc. On one of these occasions, a girl we didn’t know very well came over (let’s call her Sara), and asked to use my bathroom, and accidently left a few floaters in the toilet (for those of you who don’t know what floaters are, they are small pieces of poo floating on the top of the toilet that somehow did not get flushed on the first go around).

This is the sort of situation where if I was a different type of guy, I would have just quietly flushed the toilet, and not said anything. But of course, I chose to call her out in front of all of my law school friends, who were eating tuna sandwiches in the main room at the time.

Me: “Hey Sara, did you leave something in the bathroom?”

Her: “No, I don’t think so…”

Me: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that you left some floaters in there.  Did you want me to save those for you or something?”

Her: (embarrassment, followed by flushing).

Of course, she became one of our best friends in law school, and after graduation, we wound up going to a lot of bar conventions and all sorts of other professional events together. We’d meet lawyers, judges, my boss, etc. They’d ask how we met and instead of just saying “law school,” I would just recount the time that she left floaters in my toilet. Reading this over, this behavior comes off as kind of cruel, but trust me, it was hysterical at the time.

And amazingly, despite this behavior (of because of it?), Sara and I ended up dating for a few months. Despite what Hollywood tells you; never date your best friends. Because everything you ever did to them comes back to bite you in the ass:

“Hey, can you close the door?”

“Hey, remember when you told your boss that I left floaters in your toilet? Close it yourself.”

It’s probably for the best that we broke up though, because there’s really no way I could have not told the floater story at the wedding. (I mean, you have to tell people how you met, right?)

And for the record, this is the same ex from the Baltimore Wedding Fun entry. We don’t really talk anymore.


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