Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Worst Things I’ve Ever Said on a First Date

Posted by JewMitch on April 11, 2010

As a follow up to last week’s post, I thought it would be fun to do another list: “Worst Things I’ve Ever Said on a First Date.” Looking back on this, it’s actually kind of amazing that I’ve ever had a relationship.

1.  “For a Jewish girl, you’re really pretty.”

2.  “I look into your eyes, and I feel like I can understand how the Holocaust happened.”

3.  “You’re still a virgin? I guess you must be really into oral then?”

4.  “You’re really lucky that you’re good looking. I think you would have a hard time making friends if you weren’t.”

5.  “How do you feel about fat people? Because I really don’t like them.”  (Note: the girl I said this to wound up coming home with me that night, but then texting me a week later to say that this comment was a DealBreaker.)

6.  “Do you like dead baby jokes?”

7.  [To a religious girl]: “Don’t you feel like the idea of the afterlife is just a convenient, easy answer to the question of what happens after we die? Like someone asked, and then someone else said, ‘We all go to happy place. Problem solved.’”

8.  [To a girl who keeps kosher]: “I can’t stand anyone who keeps kosher.”

9.  [To a Teach for America teacher]: I try not to go to the Bronx. There’s too many ethnic people there.

10.  “Don’t be mean to me; wasn’t killing six million of my people enough?”  [Note: she then responded, “We can make it six million and one if you want.”  I kind of wanted to marry her after that].


One Response to “Worst Things I’ve Ever Said on a First Date”

  1. […] gotten so bad that on dates I will literally ask the question, “How do you feel about fat people?” Because I don’t care how often you work out; if you think it’s okay to be fat, you’re […]

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