JewMitch

Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Haircut Day!

Posted by JewMitch on July 7, 2009

haircut

Haircuts have always been a funny thing for me. I have surprisingly soft, super-Jewwy hair that basically does whatever it wants.  When it’s short, it looks straight and normal. At mid length, it looks a little wavy. Then, as it gets longer, it can either look good, or spring up like a giant Jew-clown-fro. Since I’m kind of lazy and it’s fun to watch my hair change so radically, I usually only get 3-4 haircuts a year.

It’s weird, people (meaning girls) are always very opinionated about my hair. Every girl I’ve ever known either encourages me to keep my hair short or grow it long. Depending on whether or not I’m dating the girl, I may get a few more or less haircuts per year, but usually I just stick to the one haircut per season schedule. Although I did once go eight months without cutting my hair at all.

Although it’s not just laziness; it’s fun to be able to get a haircut and look like a completely different person afterward. I really like that feeling of not recognizing myself in the mirror after a haircut. Because isn’t that the worst; when you get a haircut and no one notices? By waiting six months between haircuts, and then cutting off everything, I make sure that everyone notices. This is all probably related to my only-child need for constant attention.

In Baltimore, I used to go to a place called The Beatnik Barbershop in Mt. Vernon. They were always pretty good.  They only charged $16 and they offered you a free cup of coffee or cup of Jim Beam (or a combo) when you got a haircut. Also, the guy who owned the shop used to be a roadie for REM and he had a bunch of stories about those guys. He confirmed that their song, Don’t Go Back to Rockville, was actually about Rockville, MD, which was a huge stupid thrill for me.

However, once I got to New York, my roommate took pity on me and decided to take me to John Allan’s, which was slightly different from The Beatnik Barbershop.

Their shtick is that are a “men’s club” that you can join for $720 a year. Once a member, you can come in for a haircut or “the Full Service,” anytime you want, as much as you want.

Of course, paying $720 a year to get your haircut sounds absolutely ridiculous (you can also pay $65 per Full Service or $51 for just haircut), but it’s New York and here was how the Full Service works. You go in, sit down and are immediately given a free drink. They had decent beer and a really nice high end rum. Then they move you along the line: first with a shampoo and neck massage, then manicure (which was much less gay than I thought it would be), then hot towel, then haircut and style, finished with shoe shine. The whole time you’re there, they are feeding you drinks and flirting with you. It was sort of a like a super high-end Hooters.  They also have a lounge with a full bar and pool table, in case you just want to get trashed in the middle of the day. They don’t have a women’s restroom.

The contrast between this and Baltimore was pretty extreme. It was one of those moments, when you’re like: “Oh, this is what getting a haircut is like for people who have money.” Also, they were not kind to my current haircut. While examining my hair the stylist actually said, “So do you cut your hair yourself?” I replied by saying that I used to get my haircut in Baltimore. She just nodded in understanding.

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