JewMitch

Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Purple Violets

Posted by JewMitch on July 1, 2009

burns-purple-violets

There is a recent romantic comedy currently running on the premium cable stations called Purple Violets, which stars Ed Burns, Selma Blair, and Patrick Wilson. You may not have heard of this film, as it did not achieve any commercial success and Rottentomatoes.com didn’t even bother to give it a rating.

But of course, I did whatever I do when a new romantic comedy happens to be on TV; I sat down and watched the entire thing. Just like I did for PS I Love You, Little Black Book, Catch and Release, and Failure to Launch. I think I like these bad romantic comedies better than the good ones. I cannot tell you why I like these movies. It’s times like these, when even though I am sure that I’m not gay, I think that I might be a girl.

I mean there really is no excuse for this type of behavior. I had a whole afternoon open, and I chose to ball up on the couch, put on some pajamas, and watch Ed Burns play the only stubborn-Irish-Catholic-incapable-of-showing-emotion character that he is capable of playing. Then… are you ready for this… I sat and reflected on all of my past relationships. Like, really? This is what I choose to do with my free time?

In case you’re wondering about the plot of Purple Violets – it’s this: two awesome guys (Ed Burns and Patrick Wilson) live really cool bachelor lifestyles in New York City and are both wealthy. Then, they both run into their college ex-girlfriends randomly and it awakens a lot of old feelings. Then … spoiler alert… they eventually both get back together with their ex-girlfriends! And this is the happy ending! That everyone gets back together! What the hell?

And of course, I sat through this entire crapfest, thinking: “Isn’t this great! Everyone is going to be so happy. I wish I had an ex-girlfriend from college that was my soul mate – but it really just didn’t work out back then – and maybe we could run into each other in New York – and then get back together.”

I am not joking. This thought actually ran through my head. And to make matters worse, I then took the time to think back on all my old relationships, and realized that none of those girls really qualified as the “first love who got away,” and then got kind of sad that I don’t really have any ex-girlfriends who would allow me to step into the plotline of Purple Violets. Then I opened a bottle of wine and reflected more on this for a while.

Granted there wasn’t much else on that day except for the Scripps National Spelling Bee, but still – really?

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4 Responses to “Purple Violets”

  1. Erin said

    You. Are. A. Girl.

    And I miss you.

  2. Josh said

    This cracks me up.

  3. Zayda said

    This is the best movie review I have ever read. I hope I get to enjoy the movie as much as I have enjoyed reading you.

  4. Melissa A Cramer said

    This is so funny . I’m just watching it now first time. I love it…. And Selma Blair….Iv never stoped loving you I just need time……Great Movie .🎥🎬🎦…You are not a girl . ….. Just a awesome writer 🌌🎆🎇🎉🎊

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