Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Cowboys and Indians and India-Indians

Posted by JewMitch on June 29, 2009

cowboys indians

One of my New York friends had a Cowboys and Indians party last year, where everyone was supposed to dress up like Cowboys and Indians. The friend throwing the party was India-Indian (like from India), so my friend Staci and I decided it would be really fun to dress up like Indians from India, and pretend we didn’t understand the party theme.

Luckily, my friend Azim had a traditional salwar kameez (Indian tunic) and my friend Evan had a turban that I could borrow. Staci actually went out and bought a Saree from this local Indian shop, which took some hunting in Baltimore. We both wore dots on our foreheads. Also, keep in mind that it was a five hour drive to New York City from Baltimore. This is how excited we were about showing up to a Cowboys and Indians party dressed this way.

Although, it was the second night of Passover, so we had to stop at my aunt and uncle’s house in New Jersey to have seder along the way. When we finally got to the party, it had moved from our friend’s apartment to a nearby bar, and almost everyone had abandoned their costumes. So here we are, in a sports bar, dressed up like Indians-Indians, and no one else is even wearing costumes at all. If we weren’t drinking heavily at the time, this might have been awkward. Also playing BuckHunter in Indian costumes turned out to be a lot of fun.

The night progressed through a few venue changes and we finally wound up going to a strip club. Our first stop was the Penthouse club, which let me walk right in (wearing the salwar kameez and turban), but refused entry to Staci and all of our other friends because they did not meet the dress code. Staci was outrage by this.

“How can you let Mitch in, dressed like that, but no one else?”

The bouncer replied, and I quote, “Some of your friends are wearing shorts and dressed sloppy. His outfit looks very put together.”

As proud as I was of this, I decided I couldn’t leave my friends behind and we went a few doors down to the Hustler Club. They were much more accommodating and allowed us all in. It was a shame they wouldn’t let us take photos in the strip club, as getting a lap dance while wearing the turban would have made a great Christmas card. Although the image of Staci getting a lap dance from two girls while wearing the turban was even funnier.

However, something extremely disturbing happened later that night. Another friend was getting a lap dance, when the stripper paused in mid-dance, and then farted on him. In mid-lap dance! She tried to pretend it didn’t happen and kept dancing, but soon the smell took over our entire area. Plus, we all saw her fart. We had to ask her to stop dancing and leave. This was the last time I have been to a strip club, wearing a turban or otherwise.


2 Responses to “Cowboys and Indians and India-Indians”

  1. Azim said

    what the!?!? you wore my salwar kameez to the Hustler Club!?!

  2. […] were two moments that made her look up at us in utter disgust. The first was when I retold the Cowboys and Indians and Stripclub story in […]

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