Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Karaoke and Darryl Strawberry

Posted by JewMitch on June 25, 2009


I have had a long love affair with karaoke that started back when I first realized that you could request Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf at almost every karaoke bar. This is by far my favorite karaoke song to sing, because it involves a lot of yelling. It is also one of the only popular songs in America that goes through all the stages of a relationship: meeting a girl you like, coercing her to sleep with you, being in love for five minutes, and then counting the days until you can get out of the relationship.

On a date though, there’s only one song to request: Somewhere Out There from An American Tail. Even though this song is sung between Feivel and his sister in the movie, I still think it’s romantic and not wrong to make out afterwards.

If I’m doing karaoke with another guy, I think the way to go is Two Princes by the Spin Doctors. A timeless classic that everyone knows the words too, this song almost begs that you sing it to a girl in the audience. She gets to feel like a princess, you get to feel like a rockstar, and everyone wins.

Lately, if I’m performing by myself, I have been requesting Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge. This is another classic that may be the greatest American lesbian love song ever written. It’s also really fun to replace the word “window” with “vagina.” Then the lyrics become:

Come to my vagina
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my vagina
I’ll be home soon

One time when I was performing this song with these lyrics, I realized halfway through that there was a lesbian couple swaying to the music directly in front of me. Thinking quickly, I dedicated the song to them and “lesbian love everywhere.” I think they liked it.

It turns out that there is a karaoke bar in New York called Keats that is right next to my apartment building. This is dangerous, as it encourages me to go there after I’ve been drinking all night and stay late because home is right around the corner. But the best thing about this bar is that I once ran into Darryl Strawberry there.

Here is the story. I was hanging out with my friend Grasser, and he was doing a fake yawn, where he reached his arm all the way over his head and behind his back. As his arm was coming down, his hand came down and landed directly in the hand of an extremely tall black man, who happened to be walking behind him at the time. But instead of getting freaked out, the tall black man half smiled and half grabbed Grasser’s hand in response. Then he proceeded to walk out of the bar.

One minute after this happened, we found out from everyone else in the bar that the tall black man had been Darryl Strawberry. Awesome.


4 Responses to “Karaoke and Darryl Strawberry”

  1. Erin said

    “Your friend.” I see how it is … so possessive. And I’m wondering where my blog post is?

  2. ChristianFrank said

    I love the Melissa Etheridge Part, I almost pee’d myself

  3. g said

    So I def love the post, but I must say I am slightly disappointed that you didn’t mention the fact that my yawn was a result of Mr. Classy Seventiesporn Moustache doing his rendition of the Eagles’ “Lyin eyes” and clearing out 60% the bar (for the second time in as many weeks).

    Whoa, also I just realized that it’s 11:37am right now and all the other comments were posted after 3pm today. Which means that my flux capacitor works! 88mph!

  4. Brandon said

    I love to do Zoot Suit Riot at the end of the night and watch drunk people try to Swing Dance. Also, Folsom Prison Blues and Man Of Constant Sorrow. I haven’t tried substituting the word Vagina into any of these songs but may try that next time around.

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