JewMitch

Just a Jew. Named Mitch. Writing about his feelings.

Hangovers and Pedialyte

Posted by JewMitch on June 8, 2009

pedialyte

Hangovers are a tricky thing; many people avoid drinking excessively because they hate them so much. However, when you’re a borderline alcoholic, this isn’t an option. You have to tackle that hangover full on. And since I’m a generous person, I’d like to share some of my wealth of knowledge concerning hangovers with you today. Also, I am currently hungover and this seems like an appropriate post to do today.

First off, I think it’s absolutely essential to eat something before I go to sleep, preferably pizza, a soft pretzel, or a soft pizza pretzel. My personal theory is that the bread and cheese sit in your stomach over night and sop up all the alcohol, so instead of feeling hungover the next day, you just have bad diarrhea. Not so bad. And I’ll take diarrhea any day over feeling nauseous.

Also, everyone knows that drinking water the night before helps, but if you really want to take your game to the next level, stock your fridge up with Pedialyte. Pedialyte is a beverage designed to be drunk by little kids who have diarrhea to rehydrate them, but is also perfect for rehydrating yourself after binge drinking. The problem though is that Pedialyte is sold in the children’s section of grocery/drug stores, and you feel like a pedophile while buying it.

True story: I was once at the drug store and Pedialyte and condoms happened to be on sale, so I decided to stock up on both. So I am walking to the check out line, with large amounts of these two products in my basket (and nothing else), and I run into a friend from law school. She looks down into the basket, makes a face, and just says, “I’m not even going to ask,” and walks away.

But aside from this risk, Pedialyte before bed can work wonders. It’s good the next morning too, and in the summer they sell Pedialyte popsicles that you can store in your freezer. Great for hangovers on sunny days. Personally, I love the fruit punch flavored powder packs (“Pedialyte Oral Electrolyte Maintenance Powder”) which are a lot less expensive than the bottles, and are perfect for leaving in your desk at work for hungover mornings. But whatever you do, don’t ever buy the original unflavored “flavor;” it’s super gross. [Note: Pedialyte also just started selling these eloctrolyte strips that dissolve on your tongue — excellent for those drunk nights when drinking a bottle of liquid Pedialyte is just too much work.]

I also used to buy Chaser Pills, which are a little expensive and made of charcoal. These are awful in the sense that you don’t get as drunk when you take them, but they work really well if you know you need to binge drink one night, and be somewhere important the next morning. This situation really only applies to me on Christmas Eve when I’m dating a Christian girl. Because for those of you who don’t know, Christmas Eve is probably the biggest Jewish drinking night of the year, mainly because most of us have shit to do the next day. Except for me, who’s an asshole and always dates non-Jewish girls, and then usually has to do all the same shit that Christians do on Christmas day. One year, I actually missed Christmas breakfast with a new girlfriend’s family because I was so hungover that I was physically incapable of driving to her parents’ house (I threw up twice on the side of I-95), but that’s another blog entry.

Okay, but say it’s too late, you’re already hungover and you don’t have any Pedialyte. In my opinion, the ultimate hangover meal is a tall glass of original Coke and Kraft macaroni and cheese. This is a classic, and there is something magical about the combination of these two foods. Although for some reason, it has to be original Coke (in a glass bottle is best, followed by fountain coke over crushed iced) and Kraft. Don’t ask me why, it just is this way.

Diners are also an excellent way to fight a hangover, which is why I try to always live within walking distance of one. The following is my favorite thing to order at a diner when I’m hung over: 1 milkshake, 1 coke, 1 coffee, 1 water, hash browns, eggs, and toast. This is an excellent combination, since it provides the necessary oil, starch, salt, sugar and caffeine to relieve a hangover. I was once at a diner with a friend who ordered the same thing, which led to a hilarious looking table, filled with 8 beverages and two small plates of food.

Another excellent hangover beverage is orange juice with honey stirred in. Orange juice plus honey equals gross when you’re sober, but is awesome when you’re hungover. Try it. Also, Airborne always makes me feel better, and is much less embarrassing to buy at the drug store than Pedialyte. [Side note: Airborne and vodka is my favorite cocktail to drink when I have a cold. I’ll literally bring a container of Airborne to the bar with me and order a vodka and water.]

Finally, if you have a headache, I highly recommend Excedrin Migraine. It’s a combination of Tylenol, Aspirin, and caffeine. Aleve is also a close second, because it contains a muscle relaxer too, which is great when you’re hungover and stressed. However, do not make the rookie move of keeping these essential drugs in your bathroom medicine cabinet – which is about a thousand miles away from your bed when you’re hungover the next morning. Instead – keep them in your bedside table. Trust me on this one; you can thank me later. Also, as an advanced move, keep some over the counter sleeping pills in your bedside table too; perfect for when you wake up at 7am with a splitting headache and just want to go back to sleep until noon or so.

I hope this was helpful, and remember that you should never not have a tequila shot or mix wine with scotch because you might get a hangover the next day. Hangovers are just part of the wonderful world of drinking. And if dealt with properly (so no headache or nausea), I kind of enjoy being hungover. Everything is a little dulled, I don’t have to think for a day, and can just enjoy watching crappy TV for six hours. But I’m kind of weird like that.

Update: Wikipedia now links this blog entry as an authoritative source in its pedialyte entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedialyte.

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35 Responses to “Hangovers and Pedialyte”

  1. michelle said

    hey there.
    so…i’m googling pedialyte and hangovers, sitting at work, sipping on what i’ve deemed to be the best hangover remedy, curious as to whether or not there’s any substantial information on it or if it’s just me. aka. bored at work
    i’m curious though, you seem to have such extensive knowledge on the subject, would drinking it the night of my reocurring binge drinking evenings/late nights result in a better cause/effect so to speak of the pedialyte?

  2. Elijah said

    No liquid Vitamin b12 recommendation? nOOb!

  3. blah blah said

    Pedialyte is a child’s form of gatorade. A source of electrolytes with much less sugar than gatorade… Also, Pedialyte will become heavier on your tab than the booze you drink. Id suggest drinking watered down gatorade, taking a tums and getting a good meal in your tummy. Tums becuase the main ingredient in it is calcium bicarbonate, which is the same for those chaser pills.

  4. The Spanish store up the street from me in DC has an horchata flavored version of Pedialyte. CVS sells their neutral flavored brand of the stuff for $1 or so less.

  5. […] Central America, save for the cheese.  The next aisle over from the pickled whathaveyous featured analgesic Pediatyle style hangover juices fit for a delicate baby , notable a Latino themed horchata […]

  6. […] While this drink is formulated for kids, it has plenty of ingredients in it to help adults who don’t feel […]

  7. mike said

    For me… 1 acid reducer pill, 1 IBprofen and one Balance bar (yogurt honey peanut) Magical…

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  9. danny said

    I don’t know how hilarious you intended this post to be, but I was cracking up.

  10. Will Timmreck said

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile! And true. My girlfriend and I have been drinking pedialyte to prevent (or cure) hangovers for about 10 years! Although she hasn’t been my girlfriend that long, but once I found that out I knew it was a match made in heaven. Now we’re happy and “almost” always hangover free due to the fact that pedialyte is always on the grocery list every week…

  11. Kristen said

    This was so so funny, and helpful! Thanks

  12. Stephanie said

    Wow either I’m REALLY hung over or your really funny! I think you’re funny. I have been drinking pedialyte at work right Now, I bought the orange flavor thinking it would be good, but when I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I have a big Orange ring all around my mouth, it looks like I passed out in a bag of doritos last night! So my advice is to get the Clear pedialyte unless you like looking like a douche bag like me!!

  13. Jenna said

    i love you.

  14. Pat Tugend said

    Pedialyte has been something of a miracle cure in my friend group. Tasting like viscous salty gatorade this wonderful super liquid has saved me during many intense hangovers. Two litters straight up is the call. The faster the better. Seriously though always find one with flavors. The au natural version is basically thick ocean water. Mitch you speak the truth your blog is funny…. I enjoy

  15. Suero Oral offers neutral, peach, coconut, apple, punch and horchata flavors at a discount.
    Peach is nothing short of delicious and the bestest hangover remedy so far.
    http://www.suerooralinc.com/

  16. Dante said

    Hangovers? Seriously? In Europe (Portugal) all you have to do is to buy Guronsan (in pharmacies)…take 1 or 2 first thing in the morning and the hangover goes away in 20 minutes pronto!!…then take 1 more in 1 hour…NO hangover whatsoever, all is normal!…If you don’t EVEN want to wake up feeling “sick”, take 2 or 3 with you when you go out drinking and spaced them throughout the night…in the morning it’s as if nothing had happened!

    http://www.rosenbergadv.com/blog/guerrilla-marketing/guronsan-the-hangover-monster-campaign/

  17. mj bullard said

    thank you for your information for it does work with the pedialyte and hangovers. only thing j didn’t understand is why would you feel like a “pedophile” buying it?

  18. Rob D said

    How many ounces of the Pedialyte should you drink? I bought a big ol’ bottle and have no idea.

  19. Gem said

    I was watching Dr. Oz a few days ago and the nurses swear by this! I plan to buy some as last weekend I was hung over and it ruined my afternoon plans … but was fine by the evening!! I didn’t read the entire thing but what I did read was pretty funny 🙂

  20. Mare said

    I am drinking my 1st bottle of the generic version from Target. I also take some fiber capsules and liquid B12. I saw this on Dr.
    Oz , thank goodness! Also you said don’t drink tequila and that’s what I love. Why is it that tequila shots are taboo. I just chase them with ice water and no other type of alcohol. Zippfizz is also great for hangovers.

  21. Sly said

    I’m definitely going to have to go with the idea on the foodstuffs the next morning. For some strange reason, after a night of heavy drinking, I absolutely HAVE to eat Taco Bell the next day, usually shortly after I wake up (which is nearly by noon anyway, so yay lunch!) If i dont eat taco bell, the whole rest of my day after drinking just blows! Call me crazy but it does. The night before, I usually down water and plain coke and ALWAYS munch chips or something salty before passing out. And as for the headache the next day, it only takes ONE Tylenol to knock that out for me and I’m good! So far I’ve only had one hangover that put me to bed for the whole next day, so these taco bell/junk food/Tylenol methods are working wonders for me, but I’ll have to try this Pedialyte trick as well. The only thing I can’t seem to shake with my personal remedy is the cotton mouth and puffy face from the alcohol dehydrating me. Thanks Dude!

  22. Fawn said

    So, I was searching pedialyte for my 2 kids (2.5 and 1) that are puking and shitting thier brains out and this is what I came across. Seriously, you made me WHOLE day. I laughed and laughed, so thanks for that.

  23. cabron said

    This is fucking classic! 24hour time release dramamine (Gravol in Canada) is also magic..

  24. Jim said

    Over the past 30 years I have suffered many hangovers and through time have experimented with a lot of remedies. I finally found my solution and every one I tell it to doesn’t believe me until they try it. Then they can’t believe they have zero hangover or upset stomach in the morning. It is so simple and low cost.

    After drinking and before going to bed do the following. Make sure you put these in a location that you know for sure you will see before passing out. Something in your normal routine (beside your bed, where you plug up your phone, place you put your wallet, etc.)

    1) Take whatever you normally take for a headache (I take Motrin)
    2) Drink a glass of water.
    3) Take one 1000 mg Vitamin C.

    You should wake up feeling fine. You may be a little tired if you stayed out late but that is normal.

  25. Mary said

    I drink only “ORANGE JUICE”
    works well with HANGOVERS 🙂

  26. Shane said

    NOTHING.. and I repeat NOTHING has worked for me as far as hangover goes. Menudo, spicy PHO, Orange juice, etc. The only cure for me was to… keep drinking. As pathetic as it sounds, it works and although all you’re doing is delaying the hangover, it’s fine with me. Eventhough I want to commit suicide when the hangover catches up to me at work the following day. I’ve recently heard about Pedialyte and tried some the other night after a full night of vodka and cranberry shots (had to be at work the next day at 0630 am), which resulted in Pedialyte vomit. As I was drinking the Pedialyte before bed, it seems as if I was drinking Tequilla straight from a bottle (gags), it was all indeed in my drunken brain, however my stomach just could not hold it in. Any other quick fix besides the advil, water, coffee, zantec etc? It appears as if when I am ‘done’ drinking for the night, I can’t seem to intake any ‘non alcaholic’ beverage… I end up puking it all out. Including the pills lol. You See, I’m going to Las Vegas this week for a friend’s birthday; leaving Tues night and departing extremely late Thursday…. and have to return to work Friday morning at 0630. I do not want to stop drinking (we have a D.D) … again, as pathetic as this may sound and and I know some of you will recommend AA, I need to have a quick fix/solution aside from Pedialyte!! Or, how I would be able to hold it in my stomach. Any advise welcomed… not mean ones!
    I’m a 23 College/ working girl.. what do you expect? lol

  27. Jasmine said

    Dramamine. It’s the very best thing for a hangover.

  28. Tammy said

    AWESOME!!! Love this!

  29. L8Lady said

    Lots of valuable info here, BUT… unless you can get your hands on percodan, Goodie powders or BC work best for headaches (powders, not pills!) Besides, I would never allow acetaminophen anywhere near my liver after an alcohol binge. Most reliable sources say that one small dose of tylenol is probably safe after a night of hard drinking, but why risk it at all when there have been related fatalities? Plus, there are so many better choices out there!

  30. Gogirl said

    This guy is sponsoring Pedialyte… just take a shot of vodka … or three, and be on your way.

  31. My brother and I were discussing this the other day. A mixologist needs to invent a Pedialyte cocktail (cuz that stuff tastes like shit) so you can drink it for the last 1-2 drinks of the night and be good to go in the morning. Also, I’m not a Christian, but I do celebrate Christmas, am single, have a nasty penchant for Jewish men, and a terrible drinking habit. But I don’t live within 800 miles of i-95, so there’s that.

  32. eric said

    All I do is take 2 Alkaseltzers before going to bed. Wake up with no nausea or headache. might still feel weak and tired, but thats better than a hangover.

  33. Melenaite said

    This had me dying buuut I will try the Pedialyte:)

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